there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
