Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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