dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize