When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize