Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
