After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
