CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
