i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
