i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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