I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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