I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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