The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
