Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
