see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
