Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
