Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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