it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
