How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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