can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
