I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
