with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize