Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize