he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
