i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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