Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
