I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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