He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
