I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
