Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
