omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
