Whod you bang
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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