i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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