We should be called the Road Head Warriors
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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