It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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