what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
