I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
