Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Farmville is her only friend.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
