Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
