you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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