that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
