So drunk its hurt
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
