I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Drake has all the answers
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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