hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
