I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just found a bag of teeth...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize