If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
