your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize