I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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