No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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