Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
