My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
