I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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