Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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