Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
This toilet bowl is my home.
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