You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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