My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize