how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
